Turn Your divorce into a positive

Victory4You

Team Beachbody

YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK!

You are going to be O.K. This is the first thing you need to commit to BELIEVING. You may not feel ok yet, but you will get there. Divorce sucks; it is a simple truth. It is a rare occasion when a divorce is 100% amicable. People love to say their divorce is amicable, but I believe this is rarely true. One party is always a little more devastated over the divorce than the other. If you are the devastated one, like I was, don’t worry, you too will be JUST FINE. I am here to help.

So, you are getting or got divorced, now what? You’ve got all this emotion - sadness, anger, loneliness, frustration, self pity. What do you do now? Is it time to hit the bar scene and try to recapture your youth as some partying, bar hopping loser? For the first part of the journey, that might very well be the case; I did it. Lie around, drink, party, try to find validation in picking up members of the opposite sex in bars so you still feel desirable and wanted - it is hard to avoid at the beginning, but it is completely understandable in my opinion. But this is not life, at least not a good one. If you have kids, this CANNOT be your life. You can’t possibly be that selfish. If you are still in this stage of your “divorce process” and don’t want it to stop, quit reading now, you’re not ready yet. Come back when you are.

GOOD, you’re still reading. I have a very special place in my heart for those who have been through divorce and I want to HELP as many people as I can to REBUILD THEIR LIFE. I feel I can truly help you. All these emotions you are feeling, do something productive with them. Are you angry? Frustrated? Hurt? Why not use these emotions to help you turn your body into something you can be PROUD of? Divorce can be the opportunity of a life time! You may have free time now that you never had. How are you going to use it? Will you sit on the couch and watch tv and eat ice cream, or are you going to do something productive? Go back to school, continue your education, find a new hobby, EXERCISE? There are so many things you can do now that you could not do before. If you, like many, are thinking, “I want to get into better shape. I want to feel better about myself and be healthier”. That is where I can help. I can help you make your DREAM a REALITY. You can take this terrible thing and turn it into a POSITIVE turning point in your life. You have a big choice to make, which road are you going to go down?

     Back to wallow in                                                                                             Let's turn this
             self-pity                                                                                                 into a POSITIVE!!
            So, what's it gonna be???


   Just Try
      (April 29, 2009 Facebook Note)

I thought a long time about whether or not to post this, it is not something I would normally do, which made me think that I should post it.

I cried today. I cried last year on this day too. That day I cried because I thought my life was over. It all came crashing down around me. My life as I knew it was over. My family was gone. I had no hope, no dreams, nothing. I was completely lost. I was a broken man and I did not know how I was ever going to be whole again. I tried to make it go away with alcohol, prescription drugs, anything that would help me not have to feel the pain I was in. It did not work. I just fell further and further into someone I did not recognize. But then one Saturday morning after weeks of self pity, I woke up on my living room floor, with a very hazy recollection of how I got there. As I stared up at the ceiling I said to myself, "really? Is this how you are going to live your life now? Is this how you are going to go out?". I thought of my son and what kind of father I wanted to be for him. I thought of all the life I still had ahead of me. It was then that I decided to just make an effort. I didn't feel like it at all but I thought "just try". I went down in the basement and worked out for the first time in months. I did not want to. I wanted to sit on the couch and watch tv and play video games. I went over to my brother's house and spent time with family and friends. I didn't want to do that either. I made an effort to try to think positively about the opportunity I had in front of me. Sure, life had thrown me a curve ball, hell, it beaned me right in ther head! I could either keep playing or quit. I decided to keep on playing. Funny thing was after making the effort for a few weeks, working out, eating right, not drinking, socializing, it became natural and wasn't a chore anymore. It all just started to become a part of who I was and I really liked this new person. I still had my good days and bad ones, but soon the bad days came less and less often. And pretty soon I found myself embracing this new life I was leading and truly enjoying every day of it.

Today I cried because I am as happy as I have ever been. Today I cried because my brother told me he was proud of me. Today life is good again. If you told me I would feel this way a year ago I probably would have told you to shut up. I tell you all this now, not to toot my own horn, but just to let you know, we all have things we want to change. We all have things that we wish never happened. We all have problems. The most important thing in life is how you deal with the bad times. The good times are easy, it's the hard times that bring out your true self. So please, the next time things get bad, the next time your life seems ruined...

Just Try.

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